Sometimes 4 Rooms Just Isn’t Enough

Last Friday: My head is laid with defeat on my forearm stretched across the toilet, waiting for the next violent release. I’m thinking ‘I can’t wait until at least lunch is gone’, (5 hours later the hideous dry heaves make me reconsider), but I’m also coherent enough to be aware of the world around me, and I laugh just a little bit. My retching has been, I’m aware, very loud in our little clou outside the kitchen. Markus is just outside in the hall on the phone to Canada trying to piece together a million plus deal. Annie is crying out loudly for Mommy or Daddy. And Rebecca is practicing her viola, which she hasn’t played in, well, too many months. Oh my goodness, sometimes what I wouldn’t give for our almost 3000 sq. feet of space that we had back in Canada. A pain to clean but at least there was somewhere to hide. Sigh.

Annie was sick last Wednesday and pretty much was throwing up on me all night, so it really isn’t that surprising I came down with it a few days later. I’m feeling fine now, but it took all weekend to get my strength back. And now Rebecca has a bad cold.

But what does all of this really mean? You guessed it, oh faithful Reader…Markus has headed back to Canada. Luckily the worst was over before he got on the plane, which I was thoroughly grateful for. I’m not sure what disturbing kind of Karma I’ve managed to stir up here, but our health seems to immediately and drastically deteriorate as soon as Markus decides to leave. I guess Freud would have something to say about that.

The first day I was just in the foulest mood; after I snapped at my friend, Ana, in class for the 5th time she graciously offered to take me for lunch to talk. That helped a lot. And today I am free from school and plan on spending most of it in bed re-reading an easy fantasy novel, so that is also good.

And of course, I watched the Obama Inauguration last night. All that talk of picking yourself up and dusting yourself off and getting to work is seeping in a bit. He really is a powerful speaker. I was a big Hillary Clinton fan, not against Obama but just so excited about the possibility of a strong female leader. But now I think that, for these times, someone completely new and ready to at least try to solve the big problems in a different way is the right choice.

And so I’ll try to take those words to heart and do what I can to help this little family move forward. Hopefully Markus will only be gone 2 weeks, and hopefully none of us will come down with anything else in that time. My astrology chart said I would have one of the hardest times of my life at the end of 2008, but then things would pick up in 2009. Anytime those planets want to get on with that change is just fine with me.