…and a crappy day

Glad I did the post yesterday, as I sure wouldn’t have felt like it after this day. Grrrr. The stars and moons were just not aligned in my favour.

Annie has been in a bratty “no” stage the last few weeks. Nothing serious, but every time I try to brush hair or teeth or try to get her dressed she says no or runs away. It doesn’t last long…about as long as it takes me to threaten a consequence…but the daily irritation of it sometimes wears at me. Like this morning. I threw the hairbrush on the ground and told her she was not being helpful, which of course made her cry. We got through it and then she was back to her cheery self in a few minutes. I then looked at the clock and saw this ordeal had made us almost late, (Annie’s Kindergarten goes to gymnastics on Monday morning and they leave for the bus punctually) which made me yell at her again, as there isn’t much in this world that makes me more crazy than being late. Now Annie was really upset, as she was not misbehaving at that moment and she has a highly developed sense of injustice. I stormed out of the house not even asking Markus if he wanted a ride to work.

By the time I buckled Annie into the car I was feeling mighty guilty and apologized. Though her sobs she said, “You don’t have to yell. It hurts my ears. You only have to say ‘I’m getting sick of this’ in a normal voice.” Oh boy did I feel like Mother of the year.

Mondays are supposed to be a bigger work day for me, but I was less than productive. (Luckily I can make up the hours later in the week, but life is just better if I have a good chunk done Monday and Tuesday.) I then had to drop something off downtown and so paid for parking. I thought I might as well use the time on the meter to go to the post office, even though it wasn’t that close. Half way there I realized my new shoes were maybe not quite as comfortable as I thought they were in the store. As I winced my way into the post office door, I looked in my purse and realized I’d left the letter in the car. (And it was a hand-made card, which you would think would buy me a bit of good karma.)

Hobbled back to the car to pick up Annie and took her to the first class of her swim lesson, only to discover the company offering them had made a mistake and registered me without my friend Margriet’s child, Chloe. This is a problem as the class is twice a week and I had planned on Margriet and I trading off taking the girls so we could both get our work done. Tomorrow we have to go to the office and try to figure it out, taking more time out of my work week.

As I say, grrrrrrr. Of course, I know these are all minor irritants. As Annie often reminds me, “It’s not the end of the world.” But I can sure manage to whip myself into a right frenzy at times.

Happily by the afternoon Annie had forgiven me, we played some games, and then had a nice book read and snuggle. Hopefully writing this post will clear some of my bad juju and I can move on tomorrow. I’ll let you know.

Sometimes 4 Rooms Just Isn’t Enough

Last Friday: My head is laid with defeat on my forearm stretched across the toilet, waiting for the next violent release. I’m thinking ‘I can’t wait until at least lunch is gone’, (5 hours later the hideous dry heaves make me reconsider), but I’m also coherent enough to be aware of the world around me, and I laugh just a little bit. My retching has been, I’m aware, very loud in our little clou outside the kitchen. Markus is just outside in the hall on the phone to Canada trying to piece together a million plus deal. Annie is crying out loudly for Mommy or Daddy. And Rebecca is practicing her viola, which she hasn’t played in, well, too many months. Oh my goodness, sometimes what I wouldn’t give for our almost 3000 sq. feet of space that we had back in Canada. A pain to clean but at least there was somewhere to hide. Sigh.

Annie was sick last Wednesday and pretty much was throwing up on me all night, so it really isn’t that surprising I came down with it a few days later. I’m feeling fine now, but it took all weekend to get my strength back. And now Rebecca has a bad cold.

But what does all of this really mean? You guessed it, oh faithful Reader…Markus has headed back to Canada. Luckily the worst was over before he got on the plane, which I was thoroughly grateful for. I’m not sure what disturbing kind of Karma I’ve managed to stir up here, but our health seems to immediately and drastically deteriorate as soon as Markus decides to leave. I guess Freud would have something to say about that.

The first day I was just in the foulest mood; after I snapped at my friend, Ana, in class for the 5th time she graciously offered to take me for lunch to talk. That helped a lot. And today I am free from school and plan on spending most of it in bed re-reading an easy fantasy novel, so that is also good.

And of course, I watched the Obama Inauguration last night. All that talk of picking yourself up and dusting yourself off and getting to work is seeping in a bit. He really is a powerful speaker. I was a big Hillary Clinton fan, not against Obama but just so excited about the possibility of a strong female leader. But now I think that, for these times, someone completely new and ready to at least try to solve the big problems in a different way is the right choice.

And so I’ll try to take those words to heart and do what I can to help this little family move forward. Hopefully Markus will only be gone 2 weeks, and hopefully none of us will come down with anything else in that time. My astrology chart said I would have one of the hardest times of my life at the end of 2008, but then things would pick up in 2009. Anytime those planets want to get on with that change is just fine with me.


Well, all good stories have an element of suspense. I’ll have to employ this literary technique regarding my trip to Schloß Tirol, as I have managed to come down with the flu and can barely move or speak; writing intelligently is not in the cards tonight. (I’m reading all these books about using the beautiful energy that connects us all to heal ourselves, and I can’t even manage to will myself out of this massive headache. More practice needed I guess…bring on the Tylenol.)

I was completely brain dead in class today; obviously I can see now it was because of the onset of this illness. Hopefully my notes are sufficient to recall what we learned. We had a student teacher for a couple of hours this morning. It reminded me again how particular I am about how I learn things; I get stressed out when we jump into something that doesn’t build on what I already know. I like to learn things from the beginning, one step at a time, in a logical order. After a few deep breaths I managed to catch up though. Good practice for me to try to go with the flow…not my nature that is for sure. And in the end I did learn some interesting concepts and even a couple of tips on how to learn better. (Since it is so important in German to know whether a noun is masculine, feminine or neutral, I really need to start making some cue cards to help with the memorization.)

More pretty pictures tomorrow after (hopefully) a good sleep.