It has been busy lately. I am working more with both of my contracts, work that is more interesting, more challenging, more stressful. I was off to London last week for a work-related conference and I hit Hamburg next week to give a presentation to about 60 German business people on gamification. (In English, thanks to all that is holy.) Annie is in swimming twice a week and dance class once a week, plus various and sundry play-dates which are a requirement like air to breath for my über-social daughter. Markus continues to work mostly 6 days a week, although now that the summer is over, he is home for dinner some days, which is lovely.
And what is up with so many people in my world having birthdays in October and November? I’m not willing (yet) to give up the hand-made birthday cards, but I’m thinking that the 60+ hand-made Christmas cards may not happen this year.
I’ve been feeling busy. And then a thought went through my head, as I knew it would. “Wouldn’t it be lovely just to have time to do crafts, organize my house, go for walks and hikes in the Alps?” the thought mused. And then, luckily, the remembering part of my brain chimed in and said, “Um…the summer of 2010? Hello??”
Right. I had nothing but time for several months two summers ago. Annie was in…school? daycare?…5 hours a day, 5 days a week. I took no German class, had no work, had no outside obligations of any kind. Oodles and oodles of time to do the things that I love most in life, learn new skills, connect with people, explore, get in shape. I sat on the couch. For hours and hours at a time. I don’t even remember if I turned on the T.V. I just remember sitting there day after day.
So for me, it isn’t about having time. It is about having energy, something that I have struggled with most of my life. (As my family knows, who are driven mad with me constantly answering “tired” when asked how I am.) And right now, with big life changes on the horizon, and a happy and active daughter, and work that is interesting and that I am really good at…that give me energy. I may not be able to fit in making Christmas cards this year, but it is a hell of a lot better than sitting on the couch. So to busyness I say, “Thank you!”
Bravo, my love. I won’t think any less of you for not receiving one of your awesome homemade Christmas cards but I’m thrilled – THRILLED – to hear you sound upbeat and energetic about life. Annie has been amazing for you … but work has always fed your soul. Remember this, dear Hillary. You are not meant to be an uber-homemaker but what you have to offer the world is so much more valuable.