The Feel of Fall

After a very wet summer, fall has come early. There have already been several mornings with snow dusting the mountain tops. Beautiful…but wow! Hard to believe it is already here.

Overall, however, I’m glad for the change in seasons. This summer has been hard. I’ve been ridiculously low for the past several months. Like as in looooooooooooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. I’m sure it was a combination of things that gave me the blues, (the financial instability of starting a new business, not having enough to occupy my brain, a very sore back so no exercise, etc., etc.) but underneath it all I’d have to say my being down stemmed from homesickness.

But the last week I seem to have got my mojo back. I’m organizing the apartment, doing some contract work for good friend Lesli in Vancouver, and even started flossing! (I’m one of those lifelong non-flossers, so this is huge.)

I recently read a blog post (can’t find it at the moment to link to…oh well) suggesting that it doesn’t matter where you live. You can carve a happy life anywhere you are and moving won’t necessarily solve your problems.

As someone who has often left a place or situation when things get rough, (my pattern isΒ  to either run fast or stay waaaaaaay too long) that column really got me thinking the last few days. What can I do to make Innsbruck feel like home? What would I gain if I moved back home to Canada? What would I lose?

All questions I can’t answer right now. But as the autumn progresses, I’m going to try to unravel some of these threads. Or tie them up, as the case may be.

And I sure have a lot to look forward to here, which is also helping to lift my spirits. Mom is coming for a visit at the end of the month and her and I are planning on going to Venice for a short trip. I haven’t been yet even though it is only a 5-hour train ride from Innsbruck. Then ski season starts, which I’m completely looking forward to. I think a few hours a week in the cold, fresh air swooshing down the ancient Alps is going to be a perfect antidote to any left-over blues.

And writing also helps me with my perspective on life, so I’m going to try to do more of that. A favourite blogger uses the Anais Nin quote on her header: “We write to taste life twice, once in the moment and in retrospection.” Although I often find that true, I also find writing allows me not just to relive the same moments, but to reframe them from a different perspective. To see events as part of a larger whole, a longer path. In that process I am able to sort through some of the things that are muddled up in my brain.

So no promises, but I will try to post more often…and to keep flossing.

5 Responses to “The Feel of Fall”

  1. Lori says:

    Excellent post, Hils … very readable (you are a terrific writer). Glad to hear that you’ve had a week of feeling somewhat better. We’re sending you love, hugs and kisses … HUGE love, hugs nad kisses!!!

    Love from Shawna & Lori, Matheson and Akbar

  2. hillary says:

    Thanks my friend,

    You are the best! I’m glad I’m feeling better too, let me tell you.

  3. Stacey says:

    I have some experience with the low parts. πŸ™‚ So glad you’re feeling better. It must have something to do with the change in weather because I’ve been down right chipper lately after a blah August.

    The location idea made me think of that saying: no matter where you go, there you are. Sometimes the idea of never being able to leave yourself behind can be so depressing. πŸ˜› Unfortunately, I don’t have much advise for making Innsbruck more homey – I personally don’t like the place and I want you to leave asap. (Of course, I’ve never been there and this may be slightly influenced by my own wish to have you back here.)

    How about a book club though….maybe you could advertise in local paper for an english book club and meet some neat people. You could meet at that new cafe in town.

  4. Ana says:

    And you have me of course. Dont forget this. I am a passionate skier also like you. New season is in front of us. By the way – Lauriane has invited us for a lunch on Thursday. I will continue my bally dance courses, you can join us as well. We can do a lot of other things of course, but what I wanted to say to you: After 16 years of my living in Moscow, I’ve never felt there like at home. so whats the big deal! Simply, enjoy your life. :)))))))

  5. Ana says:

    “We are human, and we suffer, and unlike the animals on the farm, we are self-aware, and we know that we suffer, and it doesn’t hurt more or less if God caused it or could stop it, at least for me. I am definitely of the school that believes God has bigger stuff to worry about than me.”
    β€” Jon Katz